1. Chocolate is only a temporary fix.
2. A properly-fitting bra is not a luxury. It is a necessity.
3. Your happiness is your happiness and yours alone.
4. How to apply red lipstick.
5. How to wear the crap out of red lipstick.
6. A boyfriend does not validate your existence.
7. Eat the extra slice of pizza.
8. Wear what makes you feel gracefully at ease.
9. Love the world unconditionally.
10. Seek beauty in all things.
11. Buy your friends dinner when you can.
12. Wear sunscreen like it’s your second job.
13. Try with all your might to keep in contact with far-away friends.
14. Make the world feel at ease around you.
15. Walk with your head up.
16. Order a cheeseburger on the first date if you want to.
17. Never, ever bite your nails.
18. Swipe on some lipstick, put on your leather jacket, and sneak into a bar somewhere.
19. Learn from your mistakes that night.
20. Dental hygiene is not multiple choice.
21. Your GPA is not a confession of your character.
22. There is strength in breaking down.
23. You don’t have to like yoga.
24. Pick a tea.
25. Take care of your feet.
26. Pick a perfume.
27. Even if you’re tall, wear the heels anyway.
28. Classy is a relative term.
29. Drink whiskey if you like whiskey.
30. Drink wine if you like wine.
31. Like what you like.
32. Offer no explanation.
33. Advil and Gatorade.
34. You are no less of a woman when you’re in sweats and gym shoes than a woman in stilettos and a pencil skirt.
35. A woman is a woman is a woman.
36. Love your fellow woman with all your heart and soul.
37. Cry, uninhibited, with your friends.
38. Laugh until you can’t breathe with your friends.
39. Tell me everything.
40. Exercise to be strong and healthy. A beautiful soul needs a sturdy vessel.
41. There is no shame in hoping for love.
42. My cooking is the best cooking.
43. Do not take sex lightly.
44. I mean it.
45. Anna Karenina. I’d like it if you read it.
46. The world spins on the principle of inherent tragedy.
47. Do not be blind to it.
48. Men are effectively idiots until the age of 26.
49. Carbohydrates are not the enemy.
50. Involve yourself in an organized activity of your choosing.
51. Listen to classical music occasionally.
52. Take hot baths.
53. Do not use bath salts.
54. You are more than capable.
55. I promise.
56. Don’t smile if you don’t mean it.
57. Mean your anger. Mean your sadness. Mean your pain.
58. I am always, always listening.
60. Get stuck in a foreign country with $4.67 in your account.
61. Make me furious.
62. Make me worry.
63. Come home smelly, tired, and with a good story.
64. Your story isn’t really yours.
65. You are a compilation of others’ stories.
66. Well-fitting and modest is ALWAYS sexier than too small and tight.
67. Who cares if glitter isn’t tasteful?
68. It’s too much eyeliner if you have to ask.
69. Learn to bake for when you’re sad and I’m not there.
70. Humility and subservience are not synonyms.
71. Wash your face twice per day.
72. Be gentle with your skin.
73. Science is really cool.
74. So is literature.
75. And history.
76. And math.
77. There is no substitute for fresh air.
78. Carry your weight.
79. Make up for it later if you can’t.
80. That salad is not better than pasta and it never will be.
81. You’re fooling no one.
82. Find at least three green vegetables you can tolerate.
83. A smoothie is not a meal.
84. Expect the best from everyone.
85. People will let you down.
86. Bask in the sun (wearing a sunhat and SPF 90).
87. There is a certain kind of man you need to avoid at all costs.
88. You’ll know it when you meet him.
89. What other people say is right doesn’t always feel right.
90. What feels right is where your happiness is.
91. Give thoughtful gifts.
92. Form an opinion.
93. Stick to it.
94. Exfoliation in moderation.
95. Argue with people when you need to.
96. If it’s worth fighting for, fight fiercely.
97. Don’t fight for acceptance.
98. You shouldn’t have to.
99. Take pictures, but not too many.
100. Follow your bliss at all costs. (I’m cutting you off at 22, though).
101. Chocolate ice cream, however, might just be a permanent fix.
You Aren’t Boring I Just Suck At Conversations I’m Sorry: a novel by me
I’m Not Ignoring You I Just Don’t Know What To Say: a sequel by me
I Feel Like I have Nothing Interesting To Say So I Don’t Say Anything At All And I’m Really Sorry Don’t Stop Talking To Me: the trilogy.
Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. I only just heard the sad, sad news of Robin Williams’s death. My wife sent me a message to tell me he had died, and, when I asked her what he died from, she told me something that nobody in the news seems to be talking about.
When people die from cancer, their cause of death can be various horrible things – seizure, stroke, pneumonia – and when someone dies after battling cancer, and people ask ‘How did they die?’, you never hear anyone say ‘pulmonary embolism’, the answer is always ‘cancer’. A Pulmonary Embolism can be the final cause of death with some cancers, but when a friend of mine died from cancer, he died from cancer. That was it. And when I asked my wife what Robin Williams died from, she, very wisely, replied ‘depression’.
The word ‘suicide’ gives many people the impression that ‘it was his own decision,’ or ‘he chose to die, whereas most people with cancer fight to live.’ And, because depression is still such a misunderstood condition, you can hardly blame people for not really understanding. Just a quick search on Twitter will show how many people have little sympathy for those who commit suicide…
But, just as a Pulmonary Embolism is a fatal symptom of cancer, suicide is a fatal symptom of depression. Depression is an illness, not a choice of lifestyle. You can’t just ‘cheer up’ with depression, just as you can’t choose not to have cancer. When someone commits suicide as a result of depression, they die from depression – an illness that kills millions each year. It is hard to know exactly how many people actually die from depression each year because the figures and statistics only seem to show how many people die from ‘suicide’ each year (and you don’t necessarily have to suffer depression to commit suicide, it’s usually just implied). But considering that one person commits suicide every 14 minutes in the US alone, we clearly need to do more to battle this illness, and the stigmas that continue to surround it. Perhaps depression might lose some its ‘it was his own fault’ stigma, if we start focussing on the illness, rather than the symptom. Robin Williams didn’t die from suicide. He died from depression. It wasn’t his choice to suffer that.
Just filled out my health insurance forms!
yeah!!! fucking around with health insurance forms!!!!
I hate when people complain about “oh health forms are stupid they want my biological sex instead of my gender!!!!” or “they only have male or female!!!”
There’s a reason for that, you dumb fucks, and they’re referring to biological sex
Different health risks are present in different sexes, and whatever gender is in your head does not change the fact that if you were born female, you have a higher risk for certain cancers and osteoporosis, and if you were born male you have a higher risk for heart disease and often a shorter lifespan than a female.
In other words, your biological sex is an important factor in health and health insurance, and your special snowflake status doesn’t change that.
Coulda said it nicer but it’s true; it’s about health.
No. There gets a point where nice doesn’t work. There’s too many stupid ass angsty teens on here that are gonna get themselves seriously hurt or sick because they wanna be a special fucking snowflake. Lemme tell you a thing. Doctors don’t give a flying fuck what you identify as. All they want to know is do you have two X chromosomes or an XY? Because cancer and lupus and certain medicines don’t give a flying fuck what pronouns you use. This is about your fucking LIFE. stop being angsty for TWELVE SECONDS because when you’re in an ambulance or going into cardiac arrest or whatever the situation may be, it’s ESSENTIAL that you get your head out of your ass long enough to tell them your BIOLOGICAL SEX that you were BORN WITH. It literally may save your life.
christmas is so much worse as you get older it’s like “what do you want this year?” “a sense of purpose”
"a career" "financial security" "a sex life" "tuition for grad school" "alcohol" "a nap" "socks would be nice"